11 January 2013

Thoughts of an Exhausted New Mommy

It's Finish the Sentence Friday over at Janine's Confessions of a Mommyaholic. Today's challenge is to finish the sentence "One of the most embarrassing things I ever did was..." I first saw the post last night, so I've had some time to think about what I'd like to share.

I can think of all sorts of embarrassing moments where I find myself ashamed - instances where I've said the wrong thing or failed to filter before speaking - but moments of embarrassment that are now comical to look back upon and that I'd enjoy sharing seem to have escaped my brain. It IS Friday! But, thankfully, one of my dear favorite memories in which I was incredibly embarrassed but strangely proud about simultaneously crept into my memory this evening.

So, without further ado...

One of the most embarrassing things I ever did was awake from sleep a few hours after giving birth and search frantically for my newborn as though the nurses were keeping him from me.

Let me explain... The birth of my little one was a busy one. I pushed and pushed but he refused to leave the womb and the doctors chose to help him out via C-section. We were perfectly okay with that, but all of the activity left me pretty worn out and a little loopy. In addition to being tired, I was also on pain medication since I'd had major surgery.

One of the things so many of our family and friends shared with us is that taking advantage of the hospital nursery is a must. And to rest as much as possible while you are in the hospital because the nurses do not come home with you. (Of course we knew that, but you don't understand that until it happens.) So, we put forth a good effort in letting the nursery care for our newborn babe for periods of time, so we, mostly me, could sleep.

It was one of those such times. It was the middle of the night and our little one was in the hospital nursery. I was very sore after the surgery and was struggling to get out of bed and walk. But while I was sleeping, I heard my baby crying. I knew it was him. And he needed me. He's hungry, he's scared, he needs held, he needs his mommy! But the nurses, why weren't they bringing him to me? When your baby becomes upset, they are supposed to bring them back to you. Where is he? Where are they keeping him? I swear it sounds as though he is in the room next door. So, they're keeping him close but not actually bringing him in. This is absurd.

My dear husband is sleeping on the couch while I practically jump out of bed and head for the nurses station. I stumble out into the hall and head towards the next room. The nurse comes up to me while I am frantically asking "where's my baby?" The nurse tries to tell me that he is fine and in the nursery but I know that he is in this other room and needs me! She keeps saying, "honey, that's not your baby." And, I'm like, where's MY baby!? I either finally wake up or some sort of logic returns and I realize what she is saying - there is another set of new parents in there and that is their baby who is crying. Oh. Oh my.

The nurse, very kind and understanding, or so I interpreted, escorted me back to my room. My husband wakes up about that time and is incredibly concerned as I was barely walking a few hours before. I explain to him what had happened and he was like, oh no - my wife has officially lost it. And truth be told, I just may have momentarily. Because once I came to my senses, I was so completely embarrassed. It was like something I might see in the movies!

I do credit the moment to the combination of all that was happening in our lives and with my body - the realization that our baby was here, the pain, the exhaustion, the attempting to breast feed, the we have know idea what we're doing feeling.

Thankfully, to my knowledge, this was my only real embarrassing moment at the hospital (if you don't count the fact that I threw up the entire time during the C-section). As I'm sure the nurses, although understanding, thought I'd left the building. Or just maybe, they see these kinds of things all the time??? 

Regardless, it's a memory my husband and I enjoy sharing. We may be the only ones who see the humor in it, but nonetheless, we do. I'm embarrassed yet proud that natural mommy instincts had already kicked in!

As always, thanks for reading.


January 11, 2013


Janine Huldie said...

Kate, I loved your embarrassing moment and just what a great mommy you were in your sleep/drug induced moment that you still were thinking of your baby first. I didn't have a c-section, but still remember what it felt like during the night when they took both my girls to the nursery. I missed them so and just couldn't wait for morning to get them back and hold them both. Now, I cherish my sleep, but then my new mommy instincts were also on high alert. Thanks again for linking up and hope you join us again next week, too!! :) :)

Kate Hall said...

Oh my, that's definitely embarrassing! Frantic new mama demanding her child that is mysteriously crying next door. Love it. I'm posting this on my FB page. Thanks for linking up! Hope you come back next week!

Elisebet F said...

Awwe that's sweet, hahah! The hospital I delivered in made parents keep their babies with them to encourage breastfeeding, so I was never separated from my son. I would've freaked out too probably if I was in the same situation!

Kristen said...

LOL this same thing happened to me but my husband (then boyfriend at the time) was holding the baby. I was very panicked

Emma Ddraig Coch said...

I remember driving everyone crazy with my daughter, she slept soundly but I was either staring at her in awe or if I did drop off, I woke up every 20 minutes worried she was awake and needed me. After 2 days of no sleep apart from catnaps, I think I may have been delirious.

Kenya G. Johnson said...

Aren't those instincts something else? Even though my mom was here with me for the first two weeks and I should have been able to relax and take a shower - through the bathroom fan, and shower running, I could hear him crying. It was more of a feeling that he was crying and what kind of cry it was. He was days old. I couldn't REALLY hear him but I could hear him. Visiting from FTSF.

Kat Biggie said...

I had a C section last time, and I can imagine how groggy you were and how much pain you must have been wandering out in the hall to find your little man. I'll bet the nurses got a good laugh that night - you probably made their week!!! :-) Glad to see you sharing at Janine's link up!

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